French woman wakes up, talks French, gets out of bed, has breakfast, goes shopping, talks French, comes back, thinks about lunch, visits her mother, talks French, maybe goes for a walk, sees child, talks French, movie ends.

Where the fucking fuck’s the fucking movie in that? Don’t fuck with me – it’s straight-to-fucking-video.

Vanity Fair: Diary – Joe Eszterhas, as told to Craig Brown